Scheherazade: Get Ready

Swine Flue!

Intrigued by xkcd's satire of the Twitter panic about the 2009 Swine Flu, I decided to check it out and see what people were really saying. Here are some particularly funny ones I found. I had fun not only reading them, but replacing the curses with slightly less profane and slightly more funny phrases. All of these are real.

Worried about #swine flu after eating pork chops last night
Swine flu. i dont wanna sound all end-of-the-worldy but honestly, this is pretty [crap]. but then again , who didnt see it coming ?
oh no the swine flu is in new zealand and its just down the road from my house!!!!!!!!
wait people can get swine flu!?!! I thought only cows could get it!?!'
Omg the swine flu is so scary everyone around needs to close border s around the world so it doesnt spread more
Imagine if swine flu mutated and borrowed some cream egg dna to become a super chocolate flu. We'd be toast.
We not suppose to call swine flu "swine flu" what kind of stupid [crap] is that we gotta call it H1N1 flu thas jus so we anit scared!!!!
Is swine flu like what happened to pinocchio? Will we all turn to pigs?
[dag-nabbit!] i got the swine flu! jkjk i wish
[aww man] SO I GOTTA GO BUY SOME MASKS! [infernal] SWINE FLU!
am i going to get the swine flu?
If i get swine flu, I'll be pissed off.
i'm boycotting Taco Bell until swine flu is gone. whew
i'm scared of the swine flu. i don't wanna die.
swine flu was made by fox news cause they ran out of shit to talk about via twitter
Stay in your house people! The Swine flu is spreading!
I'll catch swine flu when pigs fly. get it? Pig. Flew. Swine. Flu. Its a pun. That's comedy gold. (Commentary: lololololzzz!1!!!!1!!)
I AM TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE SWINE FLU...... HELP ME DOCTOR? GIVE ME THE CURE
SCARED OF THIS SWINE FLU----I MEAN ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH SWINE IS DEADLY TO ME....
swine flu makes me not want to go anywhere! wtf .... what is this world coming to? what's next ? dog-flu, horse-flu, cat-flu ?
If I go to the zoo, will I catch swine flu?!